It's December 1st, 2023 and I am standing over my sink, twisting a sponge in my hands. I'm wringing it out over and over again even though water stopped coming nearly a minute ago. I am irked. No, I am annoyed. No, I'm mad. Actually, I'm furious. How many times do I have to tell people to rinse the dishes off before they put them in the dishwasher?
I reach for my phone to send an extremely petty text message to our family group chat explaining how simple of a task using a sponge is, and then I stop. I look over the bar dividing my kitchen and living room at my dogs. Finn is asleep, but Lucy is staring at me. As soon as I make eye contact she wiggles her tail as if to say, "They're just dishes, Dad. It will be okay."
I take a breath and instead of sending a text, I open my browser, "Tools to regulate emotions." The first result is an Ad for an app called Ahead, the description reading, "Your pocket coach, built by behavior change experts to transform your life."
After downloading it I quickly realize it is an app designed to gamify behavior change. It provides tools to help people build patience, express emotions in healthy ways, and recognize why they felt the they did.
I want to be done with losing my patience and letting little things sour my mood. I want to be an emotionally disciplined person and I knew this app would help. As my first resolution for 2024, I set a goal to finish each of the "levels" and maintain my streak for three months in the app.
It's December 1st, 2024 and I am standing over my sink, flabbergasted. How many times do I have to explain how to rinse a bowl out? I feel my face turning red and before I even think I turn to my sister who is sitting on the couch, "Katie, I thought we covered wiping the bowls out before putting them in the dishwasher? I mean it should be called a..." She cuts me off, "I didn't put those in there. Even so, they're just dishes Jason."
I set a goal to complete every level in the Ahead app and maintain my streak for three months and I accomplished that goal... but did I achieve anything?
It's December which means most of us will be thinking about what we did this year, what we didn't get around to doing, and what we want to do next year. When setting our goals, remember that just because you accomplish a goal, doesn't mean you are achieving something.
Our goals shouldn't be about maintaining frivolous streaks or checking a box, they should be moving us toward something greater. If what you are accomplishing isn't improving who you are, then was it worth doing in the first place?
Fact
Only 3% of people have written goals.
Action
When you think of something you want to accomplish, ask yourself, "Why do I want this?" before pursuing it.
Question
What goal do you need to let go of because it isn't serving your larger ambitions?
Quote
"Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself."
- Leo Tolstoy
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