I'm driving home from an event in Missouri and decide to give my Dad a call. I find it easy to talk to my Dad as he always has family stories to tell and shows genuine interest in my life. This time, I'm a bit nervous because I have a story to tell him that might bring up some past trauma in our relationship. He answers and I decide to go for it.
"Hey Dad! You know how I'm a speaker, right? And how I tell stories about our family to hundreds of people that others won't even tell their therapist, right?"
He listens, curious as to which story I shared. "I made sure to tell the audience that you and I have a great relationship now and that you've got your life completely together." He chuckles and continues to wait for the punchline. "I was talking about values, and backing up words with actions, and to illustrate that I told the story about you getting arrested on Christmas Eve when I was five for not paying child support to your ex-wife," I blurt out.
He laughs and then says, Well, it was Easter, but it's your story and you have the right to tell it. Plus, I own my past."
Then he paused for a second before saying, "You know, the best thing I ever did was give up hope on having a better past. It sure has made for a better present."
Something about that line struck me. I drove in silence for awhile after we hung up, thinking of what it might actually mean to "give up hope on having a better past."
This morning, when I Googled the phrase, I found it's actually attributed to Lily Tomlin and associated with the concept of forgiveness.
The New Year always brings excitement, newness, and change. New Year's resolutions are front of mind and most people gain a sense of excitement and determination to tackle goals and make strides forward in their life. For some of us, we are in a position to move forward and make it our best year yet. For others, we may find ourselves facing strong headwinds blowing in from the past.
We can't sail into new horizons when we are anchored to the pier of our past.
Give yourself the gift of forgiveness this year and give up hope on having a better past.
Fact
Studies show that when people practice forgiveness, they experience immediate lowering of physiological stress responses, including decreased blood pressure and heart rate.
Action
Have a conversation with a family member or loved one about the concept of giving up hope for a better past.
Question
Could it be the person you need to forgive is yourself?
Quote
“Forgiveness means giving up all hope for a better past.” - Lily Tomlin
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