Cash or Character? What the Success Index Tells Us About Our Goals

As a four year old I wanted nothing more than to be the Green Power Ranger, Tommy. He was the fasted, strongest, most shirtless Power Ranger on the show, and he was ripped. The guy practically had abs on his back. On top of that he was dating Kimmy, the Pink Ranger. The guy had it all.

When my fourth grade teacher Mr. Deagle first introduced me to the process of goal setting, I knew immediately what my first goal would be. I got home from school. grabbed a piece of paper and a sharpie and wrote, "Get a six-pack like the Green Ranger," in big bold letters. Then, as Mr. Deagle instructed, I hung it on my ceiling above my bed so it would be the first thing I saw in the morning before I woke up and the last thing I saw before I went to sleep.

How I set goals has evolved as I have gotten older, but that process had huge implications on my life and my definition of success early on. Throughout high school, I would set goals that all had a similar ring to the six-pack goal. "Get straight A's, save up for a car, ask Jennifer Seals on a date," and the list went on, all adding to the paper's on my ceiling.

As time went on, I realized I was failing to achieve these goals more often than I was achieving them. At a certain point, I remember asking myself, "If I am failing to achieve these goals, does that make me a failure?" The bigger question I was getting at was, "What makes someone successful?"

It's a complex question, but one I believe is important people ask themselves. The people at Gallup and Populace, both research firms, also found it important enough to create what they call the Success Index.

They surveyed thousands of Americans, of varying backgrounds, belief systems, socioeconomic standings, and races, to try and get to the bottom of two fundamental questions:

-How do people personally define success? -How do people think others define success? Their findings were fascinating. First, they discovered that every person has a unique and personal definition of success, but mostly they centered around relationships or character.

The intriguing part, and to me more relevant finding, was that there is a stark difference between how Americans define success and how they believe others in society define success. While most of us define success around character and relationships, most of us believe others define success based on status factors like wealth, titles, and power.

As I read this, I was awash with mixed feelings. First, I felt confirmation that I did indeed define success based on who I was becoming, not what I owned or accumulated. I knew my definition of success was centered on my character development.

Then, I immediately felt embarrassment, confusion, and a little shame, because I had to ask myself, "Was I living my life and pursuing my goals based on my own definition of success, or what I believed others would see as successful?"

If I'm being honest, every goal I had set growing up was being driven by what I thought others would perceive as successful. People see me driving a nice car, they believe I am successful. People see me wearing Hollister shirts in middle school, they believe I am success. People see me getting into good schools, they believe I am successful.

Why was it that I was setting goals based on other people's perceived definitions of success? When in truth, all of us seemed to be defining success the same way, but acting completely the opposite.

Whatever your goals or ambitions in life, be sure they are true to what you want, not what you believe others might perceive as success.

Fact

45% of people believe that others define success based on "status" factors like wealth and power. However, only 5.5% of those same people used "status" factors to personally define success.

Action

Write a character goal and a status goal for the next month. At the end of 30 days, ask yourself, "Which was I more motivated to achieve, and why?"

Question

What influences your personal definition of success?

Quote

"If you find it in your heart to care for somebody else, you will have succeeded."

- Maya Angelou